Quoting Kathie Lee and Hoda isn’t usually my thing, but I was enjoying my coffee in front of the tv this morning and here’s what I heard.
The average woman gains 8 pounds between Thanksgiving and mid-January.
The average woman is 5’4” and weighs 164.
The average woman of that height should weigh 145. [according to what source, I don’t know]
I find these stats to be irrelevant. I don’t care about being compared to every other woman. It doesn’t motivate me and it certainly doesn’t inspire me. If I were a person who thrived on comparisons, then I’d at least like to be matched up against others in my own age range. But I don’t. I am competitive with myself because I know my own potential, but that’s it. Knowing others’ height/weight/gain/loss history really makes no impact on me. And I’m being honest when I say that. I may be a perfectionist, but it has nothing to do with anyone else’s picture of perfect. I don’t strive to be healthier than “the average woman.” All I hope to be is “the best Elise.”
My real challenge is keeping my goals realistic. [Envisioning myself as a photoshopped model is neither practical nor healthy]
I bet the average woman doesn’t eat vegan cookies for breakfast.
I bet the average woman doesn’t save up to splurge on Kombucha.
I bet the average woman doesn’t pack her work meals every single day.
I bet the average woman doesn’t crave kale & seitan salads when she’s sick.
So, clearly I have little in common with this “average” lady.
How do you feel when you hear stats about “the average woman”? I realize my blog’s audience is on the healthier end of the spectrum, so I’m especially curious if others share my opinion or not. Do you compare yourself to others?
I have never been very big on being compared with the “average” anything. No. 1 – if you are other than the average size, it could make you feel like there is something wrong with you (for example, I am tall and thereby will always be totally different than an average sized person and have spent way too many hours being self-conscious over this fact) No. 2 – Just because something works for the “average” woman, does not mean it will work for you! Even if you are the average size! I totally think everyone should just look to their own known potential and set realistic goals set on that.
i hate when people tell me what i should weigh! i think it changes based on where you are. plus, there can be someone who’s far healthier- and happier!- and an “overweight” BMI than someone at a “healthy” BMI. i HATE HATE HATE that health is expressed in terms of numbers- it’s just not fair and it’s totally screwing people up! of course i still compare myself, but i’m working on stopping that. at the end of that day, i’m me and this is the only body i’ve got. so instead of trying to change it, i gotta learn to love it and appreciate all it can do!
I’ve stopped comparing myself to others,too. It’s not an easy thing to do, but I think it’s an important part of finding peace within your own self.
I like the idea of just becoming the best version of yourself.
Also, when I’m tempted to compare myself to others, models, bloggers, etc. I always remind myself that I don’t REALLY know what it takes for that person to be their weight/shape/fitness.
I definitely do not feel like I relate to the average woman. For tons of reasons. Being gluten-free has really changed my eating habits. We rarely go out now. I can’t relate to the “average” family eating style. I have a food blog which isn’t average. I could go on! I like being me. When I hear these averages, I just get annoyed. Why are we comparing ourselves?
I absolutely love this post! Honestly you are such an awsome person and reading your posts is truly a highlight of my day. It is so easy to fall into the comparision trap, and I’ll admit I am guilty of it at times, but I’m working hard to change that and people like you help to make me realize how important it is to focus on being the best ME I can be 🙂 xoxo
it certainly took a long time, but i’ve learned to curb my comparisons to others. sure, i still do it, but not nearly like i used to. now, i really try to just be the best me, and improve myself in areas that need it.
when it comes to health and food, i know i’m not average, and i love it! i pack all my lunches, eat most of my meals in my apt, and work out most days, simply bc it makes me feel great and keep me sane. and i love my abnormal obsession for bad tv and celeb gossip. average smaverage. sooo many factors play into someone’s health…too many numbers, too many variables.
great post!
Sometimes I compare, but it’s not worth it to me mostly! If I were to be compared, I’d be too short, too skinny, too healthy. Am I strange? Yep. Do I love it? Yep. If I were average I wouldn’t wake up at 4:30 to work out, probably wouldn’t be vegan, might not be a woman in a biochemistry PhD program. But I love it all, so why compare? Who cares?
And that is exactly why some people have disordered eating problems. One size does NOT fit all. Comparing only makes me feel nutty and it’s just not worth it. Will I ever look like Heidi Klum? No! Am I ok with that? Sure am. She’s beautiful – but so am I. We are ALL beautiful and NONE of us could ever be just “average”. Humans are far more complex than a collection of numbers.
truth! preach it sistah!
agreed. who cares! im me!
can i get an amen! too many numbers that dont mean anything!
thanks krissy. keep it up because you are awesome just as you are…now own it!
word. so odd how we cling to numerical stats. we are all so different, why would we ever think summing ourselves up in numbers would be helpful or useful in any way???
not to mention the air brushing…
exactly. you do you. and love it.
and thats just factoring in height! we are so different in SOOOO many ways, its insane to sum it all up in numbers.
So true! This post really made my day 😀
Holy crap. I am so glad I read this. I have been beating myself up all week in classes because I used to be known as the “skinny health freak” in our class. I have definitely gained a few pounds since the beginning of summer vacation and I am feeling pretty self concious about it. Worrying about being the best me is what I should be doing instead of adding more anxiety to everything else going on in my life. At least I know that I am fueling my body with as many healthy foods as I can rather than the 100-calorie packs, Crystal Lights, and diet sodas my classmates live on! lol.
This is always a little freaky for me because I’m 5’4″ and currently weigh 145. According to me and where I’ve felt best, I like to weigh 133 so 145 is pretty generous.
So, yeah, I always sorta feel like they’re talking about me. You taller chicks are just lucky. 🙂
I am definitely not the average woman… I find it pretty difficult to think of anyone I know that fits in with these stats either! Vegan cookies and kombucha ought to be more mainstream/average though, because they’re so delicious 🙂
im 5’4″ too and i always feel like the shortest in the room, so its weird that (height-wise) im average. but, like i said, i take that whole average thing to mean nada. plus, i got some muscles and i like ’em.
haha. i remember my fellow RNs living off those 100 kcal packets. im not going to say anything further on it because i have zero nice to say about those kinds of “diet” foods.
right?!?
yes, the comparison is for the birds! i work in a hospital and often see that people are “overweight” in terms of BMI, but look very healthy and strong. there is something very wrong with that picture.
as far as the saving for kombucha goes, have you considered brewing your own? i just finished my first batch and it’s surprisingly easy (and cheap!)
kyles anti-brew-your-own…lest our apartment turn into a hippie chem lab.
I usually really hate all those statistics that make you feel bad, because you don´t fit ina certain image (or you fit in it a little too much). I used to compare myself to others a lot, but hey- I am me, whether you like it or not. And I am finally content with myself! 🙂
Some people eat all the right things and work out more and harder than the “average” person, but yet still cannot physiologically reach the “average” weight for their age/height. Everyone is different and I think that these types of statistics tend to make people feel bad about themselves if they don’t fit into the “right” statistics group. That’s not okay 🙁
I totally agree with you that the stats are irrelevant – every person is so different, with different bone densities, muscle builds, etc. that i don’t think those numbers really tell much. plus numbers don’t really determine health. in fact, i think when we just hear numbers/statistics rattled off like that, we are more prone to compare ourselves, when numbers clearly don’t offer up the whole picture. i know i sometimes fall into the comparison trap, but i always remind myself that it’s impossible to truly compare because i’m not seeing the whole picture. plus i don’t think human worth is relative; it’s absolute.
I actually like average statistics – the key is not to get too hung up on that sort of stuff. Always try to do as best as YOU can. But I do find average numbers interesting – if not for anything else then just to make me feel good that I have some healthy non-average habits:)
What a great post Elise! I always try hard not to compare myself with other women- (but you know I do!)
Whenever I hear those stats I am blown away at how not average I am. However it kind of makes me proud 🙂
And you’re right – in the end I am competitive with myself because that’s what matters.
Otherwise we’d constantly be striving for something that isn’t real.
🙂
great post Elise! I, like many girls here, try not to compare myself, but I am human. I have bad days. But then I have friends like you that remind me I am worth it. Comparing is hard when there is constant talk all over the place about what is healthy, what is the ideal weight, etc. But feeling strong on the inside helps me face my own fears and comparisons. Although is something I have to work at daily.
I’d like to say that I don’t compare myself to other women but I think in this day in age it’s almost inevitable at some point for it to happen. I know that I’ve gotten better about it and I also know that as long as I’m doing what I need to do to be healthy and happy then that’s all that really matters.
Btw, I SO cannot stand Hoda and Kathie Lee.
I do notice that most of the American population is overweight, so compare not necessarily, but I always wonder what would happen if people just switched to plants.
I saw this on the episode, too. It was nice that they were trying to get the population more active, but the way they stereotyped the “average” person I found to be a little bit unrealistic. I am glad someone else felt somewhat the same as I do! I try not to compare myself to others…I do what I do for me, not for anyone else!
Great post! I tend to judge myself by own standards, which Tom often tells me are are too high. I never compare myself to famous people/celebs as there is just no point. However, there are times when I compare my exercise regime and fitness to others. That doesn’t last too long though since everyone else seems to be fitter and more dedicated to exercise than me!!! Saying that, my exercise goals are always purely for me and what I want to achieve for myself and my body. I just want to be my best self, really. Wow, I am rambling big time! (I’m working on my dissertation constantly so my brain is turning into mush! However, you may be interested in it as it informs cardiac care). Ok, enough babbling from me. x
I used to compare myself ALL the time. To everyone. I was jealous of long legs, sleek blond hair, cute little noses, flat tummies, cool clothes, toned arms… everything I thought I wanted. I was always giving myself a hard time thinking “why don’t I look like that”. Then I started going to a therapist/counselor and she made me physically add up all of the time I spent every day comparing myself with other people. It added up to a LOT.
That was when I realized I needed to change my view point. Rather than looking at other women as a means for comparison I should look inside and listen to how I feel, how my body feels and how much I love myself. Because I do love myself, just somewhere along the way I let the voices of insecurity over power those of love and acceptance.
Those voices of insecurity didn’t go away overnight BUT for the last few years I find that every single day I feel more confident and love my body and soul just the way they are.
I have never thought that I was normal, I was always the “unique” or “weird” kid in school BUT now I embrace those differences and dance along to my own drum. It’s a great beat so I like the groove and hope to keep the voices of love louder than those of jealousy.
Sorry that is so long!!
Jealous! I am half an inch away from 5’1″ so you’d defo feel tall next to me.
The whole BMI measurement drives me around the bend. It doesn’t take into account ethnicity, age, muscle, build, etc. Crazy. Yet whenever a patient comes into hospital we always have to take their BMI and judge how healthy they are (weight-wise) on that, Crazy.
Like you, I like to compare myself against the best version of myself and what I know I am capable of.
From my perspective, the average woman does not run up mountains, or try to out do men at push-ups.
If I compared myself to others, my goals would be meaningless!
Hmmm…I know I’m not your “average” woman if I’m going by those stats…I don’t know…I just don’t think I fit into the standard nor do I want to…but I don’t really think about it or compare myself to others…this is an interesting concept, though! makes me think 🙂 xyx
i love this post!
i’d like to add: the average woman doesn’t get more excited for the farmer’s market than the mall. but that’s just me. 😉
The numbers tell me . . . that I’m short, but I already knew that. 😉
But seriously, those numbers are not inspiring, nor are they particularly useful. I’m more interested in how I look and feel, and the quality of my health.
I compare myself to women I see around me, but I mostly focus on me. You can compare yourself to people or numbers, and people can tell you how your body looks, but I’m not satisfied unless I feel healthy and like I look good when I look in the mirror (I don’t weigh myself). I feel good or bad about my body by comparing it to how my body has been in the past. But I do believe the statistic about gaining weight during the holidays. I can eat healthy ALL year long and then when Thanksgiving hits, I’m doomed until spring.
Those two are hardly examples of average women so I wouldn’t give a darn what they had to say! 😉
At my healthiest and most fit I was 5’11” and 195lbs. According to “averages” that was borderline obese. However, my rock hard abs and size 8 jeans begged to differ. Averages shmaverages – who wants to be “average” anyway? 😉
This was a rather painful post for me to read because I am exactly that average woman, both in terms of height and weight. And I agree with the news program that I should not weigh more than 145 pounds. (Even at that weight I was easily size 12/14). One of the biggest frustrations is that even though I am exactly average I have a difficult time finding clothes.
what a great way of putting it! i wish it were easy to do