This post has been a long time coming.
I used to feel bad about how much chocolate I ate. But then I realized that shame around food is a byproduct of diet culture and I have no interest in participating in that narrative. If you’ve noticed changes in the way I blog about food over the past year, it’s because my eyes have been opened to the industry. Thanks to Intuitive Eating, Health At Every Size, and Anti-Diet, my attitude about this subject is so different from what it used to be. I know it’s totally normal for people to change and evolve over time (how horrible if we were all so set in our ways that we resisted growth just for the sake of being stubborn!), but I still cringe when I read old posts that I wrote suggesting or promoting guilt for eating certain foods that aren’t deemed “healthy” by diet culture.
I love chocolate. And I look forward to enjoying it at the end of every day. It’s a nice little ritual that makes me feel happy.
I used to wonder if it was a problem because people always commented on how much I loved dessert, but nowadays I’m solid with my affinity for sweets.
Skipping dessert doesn’t make you “good” or “disciplined”. Having chocolate every night doesn’t mean I have no self control.
Yes, I have thin privilege, so it’s impossible for me to speak about our society’s fat shaming without acknowledging that I’ve always been in a smaller body and thus don’t know the weight stigma and oppression that people in larger bodies feel on a daily basis. BUT. I do know that I want to raise my kids in a world where “fat” isn’t a bad word. I also want them to know that ALL FOODS ARE GOOD FOODS. There is no such thing as a bad food and there is no correlation between what you eat and what kind of person you are.
“Clean eating” in the name of “health” is just diet culture being sneaky. There should be no morality subscribed to what you put on your plate (or what you don’t put on your plate). There are SO MANY ways to be healthy! Weight is not a measure of anything and how much you eat has nothing to do with who you are as a person.
I want to model this for my kids so they have a positive (and hopefully neutral) relationship with food.
[For the record, I’m not talking about eating foods you are allergic to. That’s obviously a dietary choice that involves life threatening consequences.]
Anyway, if this has resonated with you, I urge you to check out the books I linked to above, and if you want more info, I have several podcast recs that I love, including those by Christy Harrison, Stefani Reinold, and Laura Thomas.
I hope this doesn’t come across as “preachy” because I think it’s REALLY HARD to discern the facts when there is a billion dollar industry backing the other guy. I have so much compassion for people who are stuck on the diet hamster wheel…and to be clear, being anti-diet and anti-diet culture doesn’t mean I’m anti-PEOPLE who are on diets. I just want to explain the evolution of my thoughts on this very complex matter and why the way I talk about them now and going forward may be different from how I have in the past. I used to be that cardiac RN who was so sure that my plant based eating was the best way to be healthy and live a long life (and probably felt a little pride about it, if I’m being honest). Which just goes to show you how self worth and diet were somewhat intertwined in my mind.
I still think plant based eating is amazing because it gives me so much energy and makes my body feel awesome and tastes good and all that jazz BUT I’m able to acknowledge that eating “evil” things like processed food when I feel like it won’t lead to the end of days. Or make me a failure. It’s subtle to the outside observer, but the mental shift for me is big.
You guys, non-organic produce used to send me into a tail spin. Which begs the question. What is more detrimental to my health – “clean eating” at the cost of frequent mental meltdowns OR just eating the dang Doritos? I’m going to go with the emotionally neutral / psychologically sound relationship with food, thankyouverymuch.
So there you have it. A few thoughts that have been on my mind that I wanted to share because it felt awkward and slightly disingenuous not to. In case you have also fallen victim to the message that certain foods have more value because that’s what the latest wellness trend wants you to believe, know that you aren’t alone. But maybe this post could be the impetus for you to explore where those feelings come from.
Above all, give yourself grace.
Thank you for this post! I have two young sons and I realized that I was using the words “bad” and “chemicals” when describing a lot of processed food and when I heard my son using those words as well I realized that I had to stop. I now try say some foods we eat every once in awhile as not to attach a stigma to certain food items.
I appreciate your candor!
I love this! I have been noticing a huge shift in the way you talk about sweets and food in general. Also just the variety of food you’ve been eating and I am all for it! As someone who has struggled with anorexia since I was 14 (now 32) and has a six-month-old son, this is something I have been working so, so hard to improve. I want my child(ren) to grow up in a house where all foods fit and your worth is not defined what you do or do not eat. Thank you for spreading this message. Clean eating and wellness has become so enmeshed with diet culture that it is so hard to tease apart. People claim to be anti-diet messaging, but actually are full force proponents of it even if it may not be “a diet”. Thanks again for being real and being open to sharing your evolving views!
YES!!! Congrats on doing the hard work too!!
No true words have been written. I love your honesty and how you are teaching your children about food. When raising my children I always believed eat what you want but in moderation. I am proud of how my children have incorporated exercise and have a positive attitude toward food. Life is a learning curve and I have had many curves roads that have thought me well. You and Kyle are doing a wonderful job raising your children. Enjoy your end of the day chocolate!
Have you heard of or read The F*ck It Diet by Caroline Dooner? If not, check it out! The philosophy behind the book is very similar to the one outlined in the books you listed here.
Yep! It’s super similar to intuitive eating. I listen to her podcast too 🙂