Our Halloween was awesome.
Just like the Christmas season last year, I am realizing more and more how much more fun the holidays are with kids. The spirit is infectious. It’s so sweet seeing everything through their eyes…especially things they’ve read about multiple times, but are now experiencing themselves for the first time. Like trick or treating! He got to knock on doors and say trick or treat and do all that stuff for the first time. Equally as thrilling was seeing all the other costumed children in the street. A ghost! He loved recognizing the spooky things he’s read about. Which brings up another thing…how many costumes he didn’t “get” because they are TV/movie characters. I feel a little bad that he is in the dark (and has a blank stare when the kids or parent says what they are), but he actually doesn’t seem to notice or mind, so whatever. I think for him, it’s still fun to see others in dress up.
Our city does a downtown trick or treating thing every year and we went again this year. It’s always super packed, but still fun. They had a mariachi band, which was way more exciting than candy, and P put on quite the dance show.
I know I’ve brought it up here before, but I think you guys are a like minded audience so I can vent to you because I’m in a safe space. The thing is, I feel like I get the side eye by other parents because I don’t let my kids eat candy. Now, I’m sure it would be a lot different if my kids actually expressed interest in the candy, but they forget about it the second we get home. But there’s no way I’m letting my 2 year old eat candy!! That’s insane. And yes I know it’s a once a year thing, but (a) it’s not – there are a bunch of holidays that involve treats from now until January and it’s part of the problem that most adults have with this time of year; and (b) that doesn’t mean it’s acceptable – just because everyone else is doing it doesn’t make it right. Sugar is addictive and I’d like to postpone their foray into that as long as possible.
Self defense mode: I’m not a total scrooge. I let them have one thing of their choosing (highly guided by me) on the way home, which they liked well enough, but they weren’t THAT into it (P chose organic fruit gummies and V chose a dum dum lollipop). But it’s like they are being trained by society to feel all the feelings about candy when it’s NOT ABOUT CANDY. In the few days that have followed the 31st, it’s crazy how much of the discussion revolves around sugar. Stop bringing it up! Stop telling my kids to want candy above all else! Let’s celebrate the costume and festivities, not the gluttony. Ok, I’ll get off my soap box. Don’t hate me for my anti-sugar views?!
I should back up to the morning though, because the first part of the day was insanely cute with his preschool’s parade. V joined in on the fun. Most of the time she thinks she’s in his class.
The different classes basically just waltzed around the campus, in and out of each others’ rooms, etc. getting stickers and stamps along the way. Anyway, I wasn’t going to blog much about Halloween since I’ve already covered the previous 500 times we celebrated, so I’ll wrap it up and move on to the food.
I went to library with V that morning and saw my friend’s book on display! I texted her immediately of course. 🙂
Lunch salad.
After I ate, I made the pot luck dinner item for our neighborhood Halloween party. Both kids were napping because I convinced P that he’d get to stay up later and go trick or treating if he got a good long rest in the middle of the day. It worked out perfectly, and by the time they both woke up, Kyle was able to get off work and come join us for the aforementioned downtown trick or treating.
Look at these homemade macarons at our neighborhood party! WOW.
The get together was so fun because there are a ton of kids on our block. It’s become an annual tradition and this year was even better than last because they are growing up and can do more. Also, his allergy status is WAY different, which completely changes how we approach parties. Last year I brought food for P but then he was fed a bite of Asian noodles off a girl’s plate when we weren’t looking (it was so sweet, but she didn’t know abut his allergies and wasn’t old enough to comprehend it anyway) and we had a mini freak out when we found out until we tracked down the person who made the dish to make sure it didn’t have any peanuts. This year I basically let him eat whatever he wanted – sausages, mummy hot dogs, chips, etc. And that was super exciting for him. What a difference a year makes.
Kyle gave V a bath and put her to bed whileI gave P his dose. Once we had observed a decent rest period I took him out trick or treating in our cul de sac. His favorite thing he got? A toy spider. He legit thinks the point of trick or treating is to get candy for me and Kyle though. I had a candy party after everyone was in bed. With as many peanutty bites as I could get. 😉
Long time reader, first time commenter. I see your point of view about sugar, but I also think it’s kind of judgmental to say that it’s insane and unacceptable to give a 2 year old candy. My son had some candy on Halloween and had fun and I personally think that’s fine. It’s cool that you are anti sugar (to each his own), but I do think making remarks like the ones you made makes it sound like someone who does give their kid sugar is not making the right decisions. I think everyone tries to make the best decisions for their children. And you also seem to eat a lot of chocolate with no incident, so I kind of don’t follow the sugar hate. Just stating how it came across to me. Again, I’m totally fine with anything people choose for their children.
I totally get that I kinda figured that’s how I was going to come across. I don’t want to judge other people and so I really don’t care if you fed your kid candy or not. The opposite was really what I was responding to – I was feeling very alienated and judged for NOT giving my kids treats. Does that make sense?
Also I’m trying to prevent my kids from ending up chocolate addicts like me!!! I want to change!!
It does make sense! The judgement by everyone is so overwhelming with every decision we make for our kids. And I really enjoy your blog and love seeing what you all eat daily.
Sugar is totally the devil, and if I could go back in time and have my parents pay that much attention to the crappy industry food and societal pressures, I’m sure I’d be better for it! Honestly, I wish more parents would be this conscientious about building good habits and keeping taste buds “pure”.
It would be a different story if your kids were begging to have their candies and you made them throw everything in the trash. But if you’re not comfortable letting them have candy and the kids are just as excited about apples or plastic spiders then i don’t see an issue. Other parents feel better about themselves when they’re able to compare themselves as better or worse parents- but the reality is no parent really “knows” what they’re doing and there certainly isn’t a right vs wrong answer here.
I do have to say that if /when the kids are old enough to go for play dates and sleepovers that flexibility (within reason) as to what they do or don’t eat will make their social lives easier- unless you always just invite the kids friends to your house…(!)
Ps
Did P and V decide they wanted to be matching halloween costumes? i never wanted the same costume as my sibling for some reason that made sense as a kid
If I have kids, I will feel torn about sugar allowance. I understand your stance completely. But, speaking as someone raised by very restrictive eaters, my parents’ list of “off limits” or mostly off limits foods were the foundation for what eventually became a serious eating disorder that I’ve had to dig myself out of. Yes, I thought their rules were normal when I was an oblivious kid, but they came back to haunt me in my 20s. I hope that there’s a way I can introduce junky sweets to my kids without advertising them as evil. I’m sure you’ve thought about this, and any advice is welcome!
This is a great point and one I think of too…I don’t have a good way to sort out balance yet but when they are older and making their own food choices I think I will have to guide them to work out how to make quality choices with what we call “sometimes foods” on their own without feeling deprived or restricted.
For a while they were all over the place with costume ideas but nothing was sticking for longer than a day, but then V said she wanted to be a ballerina and I said okay and we started planning her outfit and as soon as P heard what she was wearing he wanted in. We went shopping for their outfits a week later just to be sure they didn’t change their minds, and I knew right then that there was no turning back. They were both SO thrilled by the tutus and tights and shoes…all of it. I’m not sure how much longer they will want to match (if ever) but I sure was excited that it happened this year. They really are great friends and he and his friends treat her like their equal and that makes her sooooo happy. She really thinks she’s one of the big kids. All the parents of his class joke that she’s the class mascot because all the kids love her so much – and she loves them right back.
As far as going over to friends’ houses goes, I’m definitely open to him eating whatever is served. We talk about “other house, other rules” all the time not just for food, but for bed times, naps, and various behavioral things. I use the line at the park, at the library, wherever, and they seem to get it. That each household has a reason for doing the things they do and it works for them, but it our family, we may do things a different way. And both ways are ok! For now, I’m pretty lucky that our close friends are very like minded with regards to diet. It won’t always be that way, I’m sure, as he grows up and gets different friends…but I’m hopefully raising him to be empowered and make good choices. And if he occasionally has goldfish at a friends house I definitely don’t care (he has them at school already). To be fair though, P doesn’t like sweets or processed food. He just doesn’t have any interest in junky stuff. V, however, has a palate for sweets, so I’m trying to keep her taste buds as pure as possible so that fruit remains her gauge for sugar (as opposed to lollipops).
Elise, I admire your implementation of your sugar stance. I think you’re focusing on the best, healthiest aspects of life and your kids will develop not only incredibly healthy eating habits but healthy lifestyle habits and choices. You’re right that society pushes us, especially kids, into certain consumer habits and its beautiful that you can think and act differently on it. Keep doing what you believe is right!
Thank you so so much for this supportive comment chloe! 🙂
Hi Elise,
I don’t often comment, but I just want to say a few things. First of all, I think you are doing an amazing job as a parent. From what we can see, your kids are happy, smart, healthy and get so much love, that’s really all that matters! Secondly, while I don’t have children myself and am not sure how I would deal with issues as candy/junkfood/tv-time, I just want to say that I love reading how you approach these things, and show us that no candy, very limited TV time etc, ARE an option and that there ARE alternatives. I think you are awesome for showing that and choosing what you believe is right, rather than “what everybody else does”.
Long time reader. Who cares what other people think? I hate how judgmental (and mean) our society has become. Moderation is everything and I think you’re doing a great job teaching your kids how to appreciate food. I love Halloween candy but honestly after having a couple of pieces of something I enjoy, i get nauseous looking at a huge bowl of snickers, peanut m&m’s and the like. Not the case when I was a child though! I love that your kid thinks he’s trick of treating to bring the adults candy… who wouldn’t be on board with that?! Happy belated Halloween!
I agree–every parent should be able to make their own decisions regarding sugar. My friend’s parents were very restrictive with their two youngest (a 12 year gap). They could not have sugar of any kind–not even homemade cookies, etc. When they were younger it wasn’t a problem, but when they got older and could go over to friends houses they would go crazy as they could eat what they wanted. It culminated for me when we were in college and they came to stay with us during their school break (they were 10 and 8). They each were given $20 to spend. They asked me to drive them to the grocery store and they spent the entire $20 on candy and prepared cereal (and big sister let them even though I tried to talk them out of it). I didn’t even give my children fruit until after they were a year old (on pediatrician’s advice) just veggies. To this day, they prefer fresh veggies over fruit. I didn’t totally restrict them on candy because of my friend’s little sisters, but I also monitored how much they had, which was usually dessert on Sundays. Once they started trick or treating, they got to eat a couple things that night, and then the buckets were confiscated and they got to pick out one a day to put in their school lunch so they wouldn’t trade for a bunch of candy with their friends. And we have never been big on candy at the holidays. But, no one should judge or alienate you for your choices as the old cliche stands true “Mother knows best” especially when it comes to their children. You go girl!
It is SO TRUE. Have you read this article? http://time.com/4989068/motherhood-is-hard-to-get-wrong/ It’s like you can’t win as a mom. There are so many opinions and sometimes it’s hard to drown out.
Thanks so much Eveline. It’s hard to find your own path with all the “shoulds” of parenting so supportive comments like yours really are encouraging 🙂
MUAH! Thanks for the anecdotes and the support and just being an awesome mom. I, too, remember getting one piece in my school lunch that my mom packed for a while after Halloween. I never noticed when it stopped…it was probably only a few days’ worth but I guess the fact that I can’t recall means my mom did it right and let me have a little in order for it not to be restrictive. I for sure remember costume contests, pumpkin carving, and the likes being the highlights.