Doesn’t this look sweet?
In reality, our first day was kinda the worst. I mean, it was fine. But the situation is really crappy, and then we found out a bunch of other things that made the schedule even more difficult and unmanageable, so that caused us (mainly me) to spiral for much of the morning.
Believe it or not, I have been decently on top of all the things that normally cause me anxiety, thanks to some major self work over the past several months. There is also something about life being 100% out of your control that really forces you to give up the vice like grip you have on it. And once you finally relinquish the belief that you had any control to begin with, there’s an opportunity for a sense of peace (which is all a nice way of saying, I gave up trying to micromanage the world because 2020 is not down with that).
That’s where I was last week. Feeling like we were doing our best. Making the most of the cards we were dealt.
Now. Not so much. The one million unknowns caught up to me and by 8:30 am I was knee deep in the 3rd last minute change before logging each of the kids into “school”.
Guys. How are we going to do this?
I am a teacher in NY. I go back to work next week. Our students start the following week. I have been incredibly anxious about it. My own children will be “hybrid”, attending classes in person 2 days a week and virtually the other 3. I’m not sure how this is going to work (mostly for my youngest, the older 2 are in high school) as I, the mom and teacher by nature, will be at work. When I’m teaching, I will be teaching students in my classroom and at home at the same time. This is not what we did last spring so I’m not sure how that will work either. I’m teaching 2 new classes. I’m incredibly anxious about that as well. I keep trying to tell myself I am just going to do what I can to the best of my ability. I’m just not sure about any of it. Not a feeling I like.
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