That’s what I had to say to myself yesterday. Boy oh boy what a weird day.
As some of you know, I’ve been growing my hair out to donate. It’s been hard these past few weeks because I’ve really wanted to cut it. It’s gotten to be such a pain. I mean just look at that mane. It’s unruly and impossible and takes way too much time to manage. But there is an 8 inch length requirement to donate. That’s a lot of hair! And while I do have a lot of hair (I mean a LOT), chopping off 8 inches doesn’t leave me with quite as much as I feel comfortable with.
Each morning I wake up and think, maybe today?
…and then I pansy out, throw my hair in a bun, and say maybe tomorrow…
Truly, I feel blessed to even have this dilemma. Which is (a) what I keep telling myself and (b) what ultimately keeps me from cutting off 5 inches out of comfort vanity.
You see, since the wedding I’ve gone back and forth a million times, but I keep coming back to the same thing: it’s hair, it grows back, and I’m lucky enough to be able to grow it. I feel selfish even debating it. It sounds so vain to contemplate trimming a few extra inches for the sole purpose of being comfortable with my appearance. I’m not that girl (I hope).
Yesterday, I had a feeling the time had finally arrived (I even took photos before leaving the house [see above]). I packed up a cashew butter and jam sammie on an Ezekiel english muffin and off I went to my work immunization review and physical. What fun that was!
Naturally I fit in a Starbucks run. My grande soy misto led to a rather unpleasant wait as I held my bladder hour after hour. I’ve never been to a medical appointment that doesn’t take six times as long as it needs to. I always arrive 30 minutes early like they suggest, only to sit in the waiting room an extra 60 minutes. But I digress…after relieving myself giving my urine sample, I headed back to my car, chatting with my sister on the way.
*Side note: she just passed her personal training certification test (!!)*
This is when it happened.
I saw a salon (run by Aveda) that had a special: “all the day’s proceeds go to breast cancer research.” Man, if that wasn’t a sign, I don’t know what is. So I did it. I bit the bullet and walked in and next thing I knew…
Oh sh!t son.
So I know I look happy in this photo, but that’s really just me trying not to hurt the stylist’s feelings. Inside I was FREAKING the eff out. We’re talking full on identity crisis. I feel dumb being so dramatic about this, but that’s truly how I felt.
The second I got in the car I burst into tears…and proceeded to cry the entire way home. What the [bleep] is wrong with me?!?! I couldn’t believe I was being so emotional over hair. Hair! To be fair, you can’t tell from the one photo I posted above what the cut really looks like. My only criteria was that it fit in a ponytail (I’m a runner, yo!), and the hairdresser still messed that up. I’ve got a semi-Victoria Beckham bob going on because the back is WAY shorter than the front. Way WAY way shorter.
For the record, that’s actually nine inches.
Now, a day later, I’m a bit embarrassed by my reaction. The entire day I was wavering between shock and despair. At one point I even looked up the stages of grief. And then, I took a long look at myself in the mirror and decided I had to get a grip (it’s about time, right?).
It’s just hair, Elise. Get over yourself.
Finally (lightbulb) I remembered my initial motivation for growing it out. All along I knew it was going to be hard. Change is hard. But my hair went to make a real-hair wig to be distributed by the American Cancer Society, and the monetary donation that the haircut cost me went to breast cancer research. In other words. It was worth it.
It would be a waste to have my locks trimmed because I was more worried about my appearance than doing something good. I’m still not in love with my hairdo, but I’m okay with that. I know that other women are fighting far bigger battles and I’m fortunate enough to have my health, which is a much more precious gift than a cute ‘do.
For me it’s just hair, for 2.4 million women, it’s life.
For info on donating your hair to Pantene’s Beautiful Lengths, you can find more info here.
Sorry for the lack of food photos…I’ll have a normal post up later.
You did a wonderful thing and this post is a great reminder about how lucky we are just to be healthy.
I’ve had some embarrassing cries over my hair too, and I feel the same way you do. Just keep remembering, what you did was a beautiful thing, and that should make you all the more beautiful!
congrats on doing something so selfless! you deserve to feel proud 🙂
what a good heart you have! and for the record, you pull off the new ‘do really well – it looks so cute on you!
You are amazing!! And I’ve totally had reactions to hair cuts just like that…tears for the whole day – and then I always feel silly about it later, but I think it’s a legitimate reaction. Plus – good news – your hair cut is really cute!
elise! you’re human….i think we all would’ve had that kind of reaction…i mean, we’re women who (no matter how much we say we don’t) care about what we look like…i mean, i would’ve done the same thing…you’re wonderful for recognizing that the importance of the donated hair highly outweighs the “perfect cut”. not to mention, it looks adorable! i don’t think you COULD look bad if you tried.
I donated my hair two years ago… I hadn’t cut it in several years and it was two days before my mom’s wedding and we were all at the salon getting prepped, and I had some wine, and decided to go for it. Liquid courage. I missed my long hair something fierce for a long time after — and now two years later it has grown back and I’m considering cutting it again (but probably won’t for another year or so). What you did was fantastic, and you’re going to get a chance to see yourself in a new light. I will *never* say “Hair is just hair” — no matter how badly I wanted to believe it, my hairstyle had come to define me in part. I never LOVED my hair when it was short but it did give me some fun times anyway. If you start to feel badly about it, just think about how awesome donating your hair is, and what an awesome person that makes you 🙂
You look absolutely fabulous, byyyy the way.
You look beautiful! I’m glad you wrote this post, so now I can be prepared for my breakdown 😉 You’re also absolutely right–so many others are fighting such longer, harder battles. Plus you really do look adorable
Hey, I LIKE your hurr did! It usually takes me 2 weeks post cut to get used to my hair but the last time I had my hair cut (back in APRIL), my stylist almost Kate Gosselined my hair and I am just now able to put my hair in a ponytail. I liked the longer hair in front but the back was so short… would love to see what the back of your hair looks like…it looks freakin’ cute from the front!
I cry over almost every hair cut, even if it’s only a few inches. There’s something traumatic about losing a part of yourself, even if it’s just hair.
Did you by chance see the Terry Fox story on ESPN recently? I swear, my life has changed from just that one hour show. It gave me tons of perspective, which you seem to have in spades. 🙂
Good news is – the cut is cute!!
Job well done E. I’m proud. And I stick to my statement when I said last night, “It’s soooo cute! YOU look beautiful!”
your hair looks so cute! hair can be such an attachment, i agree. sometimes it’s hard to part with it! but i think you made a great decision 🙂
I have been really mad at myself for similar freakouts, but our hair is a huge part of our identity, so don’t be so hard on yourself. I think your hair looks great (you are so gorgeous you could be bald and pull it off). Haircuts always feel better after a week or two, so I bet you’ll be loving it soon too. 🙂
Pantene allows 8 inches? Man, I went for the 10.5 inches and got use to the shortness but now its taking forever to grow it out again.
Oh Elise u did something really nice. I know we tell ourselves it’s just hair, but honestly it is more than that. it’s what helps to define who we are. N u have been kind enough to give that opportunity to some else who needs it. I know everyday I’m happy that I have my hair and that it grew back after my surgery. And if it didn’t people like u who donate their hair would have been my heroes.
Well, i guess we all know who to look to for inspiration when it comes to doing something we know is right… YOU! I have said this before, but i hope that you know i actually mean it when i say that you ROCK! Seriously, that is a crazy awesome incentive for you to do something drastic like this and the fact that you didn’t even have to think twice once you had walked in… that shows just how great your heart is. You should feel good about yourself for that reason, but also because you look great, and even though i’ve never met you, i feel comfortable in saying that you still look like Elise regardless… I am sure the blog world doesn’t need to say it over and over again because you have Kyle who thinks you look beautiful, right!?
Well, you look awesome in the photo! I got mine cut fairly short (a bit above the shoulders in front and pretty short at the back), and I just do low pigtails for running. I’ve got long bangs, as well, so I use a headband or hat to hold back any shorter hairs that want to escape.
You look gorgeous! I think the style, from what I can tell in the photo suits your face perfectly!! You are an inspiration to others!
Congrats on getting it cut and donating it!!!
FYI, you look AMAZING with that hair cut! don’t freak out!! You did something amazing for some woman out there AND you look great… can’t beat that!
wow when did you hair get that LONG?! never realized. i think that is awesome you are donating it. my friend does that and i really admire her for it. and you. and guess what? you look gorgeous with your new ‘do! it will fit into that pony soon enough 🙂
I have done Locks of Love (wigs for kids with cancer; their minimum donation is 10 inches) 3 times now. I freak out every time! I feel your pain. But know that you look amazing and your haircut is totally cute! For real.
Courtney
Ok first, you did an amazing thing that not gonna lie, I could never do. I over-colored my hair in my early 20s and basically ended up with a chemical haircut. It took about 2 yrs for my hair to properly grow out and those were some of the longest 2 yrs of my life with my lowest self-esteem/self-concept because maybe to others I looked “fine” but to me, I hated the way I looked. So major props to you for doing something that I know first hand, I am not cut out to do!
Next, you look great, with long hair, or short, or anything in between.
Anyone who says that hair doesnt matter I dont think is truly being REAL, but hey, maybe they do exist 🙂
I am proud of you!!!
Great job! I don’t know you really, but I”m proud of you! I just recently donated my hair as well…it is all documented here on my blog, and I quite understand the shock! I think that is why I can say I’m proud of you!
congrats on taking the plunge and cutting your hair! you should be really proud of yourself for growing it out to donate.
the first time i chopped my hair from very long to shoulder length in high school, i struggled to get out of the salon without crying. then i had a freakout in the car with my mom. a day later, i was tossing my hair and loving it. i even stopped back in to give a proper thanks to my hairdresser. let me tell you, he was so relieved…told me that the look on my face made him feel bad for cutting it all off the whole afternoon!
but you’ll totally rock the short cut and be loving it before you know it!
okay so many things! i don’t blame you for being upset (even though i think your new do is honestly gorgeous) 8 inches is ALOT and a big change! i remember after i died my hair super blonde i cried for like 12 days straight! but you are amazing because you just gave someone a gorgeous head of hair AND helped with breast cancer research. you made such a difference in so many people’s lives today 🙂 yay for you!
First thing I thought when I saw your photo with the short hair, before reading what you thought about it, was “OMG so cute!!! I need to go cut my hair short toooo!”. From the front, it looks fantastic.
Second thing: same exact horrible hair cut happened to me in college. A haidresser needed a “model” for some show, so I agreed on the ONE CONDITION that the back not be shorter than the front, because that is one hairstyle I won’t stand for. and of course, that is exactly what he did. pretty severe. I waited at least a year before cutting the front to make it even with the back. But, all in all, no one else ever seemed to think my hair looked bad. I’m sure you will rock it.
I LOVE the New Haircut, but I know how scary it can be to go through a major hair change. I have in the past been known to break down in tears in front of my hair dresser because I thought she cut it too short or didnt style it the way I wanted it. I have luckily found a hairdresser I trust and she is only allowed to take a maximum of 2 inches off if I needed a little change!! 🙂
Elise, after the way you were describing it to the fam I was thinking it was gonna be awful! I think you look great. I know I can’t see the back but I like it from the front. Fresh, new, crisp, fall haircut. Not lady catherine de bourg at all…much to my inner “I told you so” chagrin 🙂
Wuh-woo!!! (that’s my vain attempt at a wolf whistle). Essentially, all I wish to say is, I love you new hair cut!!!! It REALLY suits you- frames your face beautifully. Nice. Very nice. 🙂 xxx
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I think you look so pretty!!! I grew mine waaay out after my wedding and wanted to donate it, but it never grew long enough… for some reason around here the salons want 10 inches, and my hair just doesn’t grow that long. Well, it does but if they chopped off that much I wouldn’t have any hair left.
You are amazing for donating to such a great cause!! 🙂
Elisa, long time reader, first time commenter. You look so gorgeous in the picture in the salon. I totally understand how hard it is to get a haircut you aren’t comfortable with, but you just did an amazing thing and you look HOT to boot….loving the shorter length, looks much better.
you are a good soul elise…and a hottie! i know its a huge change, but your reflection is spot on, and glad to hear it. i really like it though 🙂
Get over yourself because you look BEAUTIFUL!!!!! Think of it as a new beginning! You a hottie wife now and look so mature! I can already imagine you running da SanMo stairs with a lil’ bob ponytail and sassy running pants and then meeting your hubz at Starbizzle on Montana for coffeeee! I’m jealin’.